Dame Mercy Alagoa, an 84-year-old former sportswoman, in this interview with CHUKWUDI AKASIKE, speaks on her life
Where and when were you born?
I was born in Nembe, Bayelsa State which is my hometown on May 11, 1930.
Were birth certificates issued then?
Yes, birth certificates were issued. My mother and father were teachers. I have a birth certificate.
As teachers, were your parents strict?
I think they were; being teachers.
How was growing up like?
I grew up in a very lovely home. My parents wanted to have a girl-child, hence they prayed for it. This was because my maternal grandmother had 14 girls and only one boy. She wanted a male child at all cost. Unfortunately, she took ill on the day she had that boy and did not get well until she died. My mother was the first daughter of my grandfather. It was believed that she was the opposite of her own mother. In the Nembe culture, a girl-child is preferred to a male because we are matrilineal. There are a number of societies which have that culture. These include the Item people, the Abiriba and some ethnic groups in Ghana. Hence, everybody prayed for a female child. But the first two children of my mother were boys. This elicited despair from both my nuclear and extended family. Then, my parents were working in the British Cameroons when Nigeria and the Cameroons were one. My two brothers were born there. When my mother had her third pregnancy, the anticipation was high on whether or not the child would also be a boy. My mother had to travel all the way from Mamfe in Cameroon to Nembe Brass because of this. Eventually, their prayer was answered and I was born. They were very happy.
Where did you have your primary school education?
Being a child of a travelling teacher, I did not know the actual time I started schooling because we were taught everything at home. I started school in Cameroon. When Cameroon became autonomous, my parents returned to Nigeria. This, however, cost them their jobs.
Do you remember the name of the primary school?
The name of the primary school is Mfuni N.A School. It is three miles away from Osin. It is also three miles away from Isong Abang. My father served in the schools as the founding teacher.
Can you remember the year?
No, I can not remember. But all of us did not know when exactly we started school because we were always taught in the house which was usually on the school compound. One would just run to any of the classrooms and sit down.
Where did you attend secondary school?
I was a very sickly child. As a result of this, my brother and I did all our readings at home. We were taught at home. We only attended classes any day we were fit. But this notwithstanding, any time there was an examination we performed well.
How do you compare life then to what obtains now?
Today’s children are not brought up to study hard because they have many things doing unlike in our days when as teachers’ children all we did were to sleep, wake up, go to school, return home, eat, read and sleep.
Did you face any challenge while growing up?
When we came to Nigeria, the luxurious life we were used to in Cameroon disappeared. In Cameroon, we were living in the European quarters. But when my parents returned to Nigeria, they had to search for jobs. They later settled for private schools because they were not employed by the government. My father had to tell the two boys to go and teach. It was from there that they rose to higher levels. But me, I hated teaching.
Why did you hate teaching?
I don’t know. Even though my parents were teachers, I did not like to teach. I think teaching gives one a wrong sense of belonging. Or put it this way, I was too young and I wanted a clerical job in an office. It took a long time. Then there came a chance and I jumped into United Africa Company in Sapele as a sales girl. I worked at Kingsway Stores. We resumed at 8am, cleaned the counter and customers would start trooping in. It was not difficult for me to wear a cheerful face expected from a salesgirl. My grandmother had always told me “if you want to keep a smooth face, smile all the time.” The first law at the stores then was: “Pack all your problems, if you have any, in your backpack, say good morning sir, good morning ma with a smile. Put on a good face; say thank you sir, thank you ma, please come again. It does not cost you anything.” To extract money from people is not easy. And if a customer enters the shop intending to buy one thing but one makes him buy another thing, then one has won. That was what we were doing. It was not too much of a work. There was external training too. The management picked some of us and sent us to Igbobi College to be trained. With my love for reading I was able to sponge everything. I was sent to the Cameroon Mountain in 1959 by the UAC. We were the first women that climbed the Cameroon Mountain and when we came down, it erupted.
What is your favourite food?
My favourite food is cooked plantain. It is one of the delicacies of my people. It is either cut into two, boiled and eaten with stew or vegetable or cooked like pottage with meat and periwinkles.
What is your favourite drink?
I don’t drink. I was a sports woman. As a sportsperson when one is thirsty, one either pours a bottle of water on the head or drinks it. Because of my training, I only drink water. If you search my house you won’t find even a bottle of soft drink. Why should I ruin myself and my God-given body with sugar?
How did you meet your husband?
My husband and I are cousins. Maybe that was what brought us together. We just loved each other. One day, he just came to and said, “I have made up my mind, you will be my wife.” His grandmother and my grandmother were first cousins. So we are distant cousins. We are third or fourth cousins and a part of the Holy Book says nothing is wrong with that.
How many children do you have?
I had seven but lost three.
How were you and your family able to survive the civil war?
My husband was with the National Archives while I worked at Kingsway Stores. After some time, he travelled to the United States for his PhD. But I stayed back with the children. When the civil war broke out, I was transferred to Lagos and the children were in school, in Port Harcourt, Rivers State. When the war became intense, my father removed my children to Nembe Brass. When the Biafrans took over Nembe, he managed to arrange a big boat, put the children on it and send them to Warri. All the while I was in Lagos and my mother was with me because I had just put to bed. At my husband’s return, he went to Warri and brought them to Lagos. The Lagos Government was very kind to us. Schools were open during the war in Lagos and they were admitting pupils. Schools then were really overcrowded.
What are the ingredients of a successful marriage?
The first one is love. My husband’s relations never saw or took me as an outsider. Maybe this was because we are related. When people talk about mothers-in-law being cruel or wicked to daughters-in-law, I am always at a loss for words because I didn’t experience it. I enjoyed my mother-in-law and my daughter-in-law is enjoying the same.
Did your husband hold any political office?
No, he did not. My husband is an emeritus professor. He reads and writes. In fact, for the past 60 years of our marriage, my husband has never for a day said “I am going out to see a friend” because I am his only friend. All he does is to write and read. He is a good historian and lecturer. From the day I got married to him, he never slept throughout the night for a day without reading. Before he goes to school, he will prepare his lessons well, because some students read ahead of their lecturers. He could go to bed by 6pm while I am still watching television because I must listen to the 9pm news before I go to bed.
What kind of music do you listen to?
The only music I like are hymns, anthems and good religious songs. I don’t even like these one-line choruses.
What is your view about Nigeria of today, compared with Nigeria of your time?
Nigeria is passing through a phase. I don’t condemn whatever happens because I think whatever happens is the wish of God. That is the way I see life. If God says no, nobody can say yes. This phase will pass and another one will come and the world still goes round and round. I don’t know which is better between the Nigeria of my days and now. I don’t even compare such things because every day to me is a blessing from God. God wants me to see today and I rejoice in it. Every day of my life, I always thank God for making me see another glorious day. There is nothing new happening today in the world. How then can I compare it with the past? Were there no thieves before Jesus was born? Can you tell me anything new that is happening in today’s world that didn’t happen 80 years ago?
What will you like to be remembered for?
I don’t know, but I think people will remember me for different things. However, I do hope that if anybody wants to remember me, they should remember me as someone that smiles always. They should remember me as one who believes that it is better to do good than evil, and as one who is a giver. I have trained many people in my life. These include those I know and those that I don’t know. Two children are now in the university because it pains me to see children who are not in school, while mine are all educated.
When did you retire?
I retired from the UAC in 1973 and since then I have been farming.
What is the secret of your longevity?
I don’t know, but I think it is God and hard work. Even till now, I still wash my clothes and cook for my husband.
Did you ever leave your children in the care of maids?
No. My mother was alive and she helped out. There have always been stories of maids maltreating the children placed in their care. There were stories of how maids put children inside the fridge to kill them? I wouldn’t even allow that because anytime I put to bed, two or three of my husband’s aunties would come and stay with me.
How many wives does your husband have?
By the grace of God, he has only one. Why would an educated man marry more than one wife?
How do you manage disagreements between you and your husband?
My husband doesn’t talk. In fact, I used to tease him for quarrels. If there was any disagreement, he would just walk away.
Do you still attend parties?
Yes, I attend parties, but I select the ones I attend. I only attend parties that are meaningful. But in a year, I spend four months abroad to meet my grandchildren. I have great-grandchildren too; they are about six now. But I don’t count my children. They all call me G-G.
What do you love most about your husband?
I just love him.
Can you give a reason for loving somebody?
I don’t think I have a reason. But when I see him, I am happy and when he sees me, he is happy. He is a quiet person and hard working. He brings newspapers for me; he would say I know you love reading. He sits down on a chair and says you are beautiful, I love you. In about another 30 minutes, if I want to drink tea, he would say ‘oh, can I join you?’ When we were younger, he would say, “if you don’t brew the tea, it is not good.” Then at a stage, I told him, “my friend, anybody can make tea for you and you will drink it.”
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