In this interview with MOTUNRAYO JOEL, 90-year-old Kolawole Osineye and his wife, Atinuke, 82, talk about their 60-year union
When and where were you born?
Husband: I was born on April 28, 1924 at Ilese, Ijebu Ode.
Wife: I was born on July 6, 1932 at Ilese, Ijebu Ode.
How was your childhood?
Husband: My childhood wasn’t interesting because my mother didn’t have money. We had to drink garri for days. I even had to hawk eko (pap) for my mother, I still remember days I hawked with my book in my hand.
Wife: My parents had four children, one boy and three girls. It is just my brother and I who are still alive. My parents weren’t rich, my mother sold eko, while my father didn’t work. My life was interesting in my own little way; I was an in-door person and a church girl. I didn’t to go out like other girls. Boys dared not visit me; my father would beat them mercilessly. He didn’t want us to have boyfriends. The boy that used to come to my house was my husband, because he was my brother’s friend.
When and where did you have your education?
Husband: I started school in 1941 at St. Paul’s School, Ilese. I was 17 years old. My father died when I was quite young and there was no one to take care of me except my mother who wasn’t financially buoyant. She only sold eko which wasn’t a big business.
Wife: I also had my primary education at St.Paul’s School, Ilese. I started school at age six. I spent six years in school. I was quite brilliant; I usually came first or second in the class.
How was it starting school at that age?
Husband: I felt ashamed but I knew what I wanted and I didn’t allow anything deter me from achieving my goals. Luckily, Infant Class One, I was promoted along with those in Infant Class Three straight to Standard One. From Standard One to Five, I always took the first position. At that time, there was no Standard Six in my school, so I was transferred to St. Mary’s, Ijebu-Mushin for Standard Six. Twenty two of us wrote the examination, but they all failed except me. Even when I wrote my first examination in my new school, I came first. The boy who used to come first was beaten mercilessly by the headmaster of the school because of that. After then, I never came first, the boy reclaimed his position.
Did you go to secondary school?
Husband: I was willing to go to secondary school. When I was in Standard Four, I sat for the entrance examination into Ijebu-Ode Grammar School and passed. However, the principal, Rev. S.R.S. Nicolas a Ghanaian, said he couldn’t admit me from Standard Four. He said he only took students from Standard Five or Six. The following year, I couldn’t get three shillings to buy the entrance form. I used to hawk firewood at Ijebu-Ode market but I still couldn’t raise the money. By the time I got to Standard Six, I bought the form, wrote the examination and passed. But I still couldn’t get admission into the school; the principal said I was too tall. I later applied as a teacher in my former school, St. Paul’s School, Ilese, and was employed. I was very hardworking but the headmaster, out of malice or hatred withdrew my employment the following year. After trying various schools, I finally applied to Ansar-ud-Deen Teacher’s Training College to further my education. I wrote the examination and came first while my cousin came second but a man started claiming that the examination was rigged in our favour. After some time, I left and went to St. Paul’s Teacher’s Training College. After my training, I was posted to All Saints School, Itori in 1953. I spent three years there before I moved to St. Luke’s Teacher’s Training College, Ibadan.
Wife: I wrote the entrance examination into Girl’s School Ijebu-Ode, but I wasn’t offered admission. Another girl who bore my name and surname mistakenly took my letter and was admitted.
After your training there, what next did you do?
Husband: I was posted to Anglican Central School, Abeokuta as headmaster. However, my friends kept encouraging me to come to Lagos; they said things were better over there. The following year, I got a job at Lagos Street African Church School, Ebute Meta. I was posted to teach Standard Five students. I was hardworking and my students liked me. Because of my diligence, the headmaster of the school pleaded with me to move to Standard Six as the teacher of that class wasn’t devoted and the students kept failing their examinations.
Can you remember your most embarrassing moment as a teacher?
Husband: Yes. One day, while I was teaching my pupils at Lagos Street African Church School, a girl in the class was misbehaving and making some noises. When I called her to the front of the class, I saw a note in the pocket of her uniform. As I was about to collect the letter, she said I wanted to touch her breast, I slapped her twice for making that comment and walked out of the class. The headmaster had to intervene. After that time, my students gave me a nickname, “Double Slapper,” the girl was eventually suspended but I pleaded for her to return to school because their exams were close. I was in the school for 17 years, before I left to further my studies. I finally retired from National College, Bariga where I spent 11 years. I can still remember the date; it was December 7, 1987.
Since you weren’t able to attend secondary school, what did you do next?
Wife: I went to a fashion design training school to learn sewing; I spent two years before graduating.
Why did you choose fashion design?
Wife: There was nothing else to do, I didn’t have money to go to school and I didn’t want to sit at home idle.
As a fashion designer, were you a trend setter?
Wife: Yes, whenever I made clothes for myself, people would beg me to make the same for them. I loved dressing nice. I still like dressing like a young girl.
When did you get married?
Wife: We got married on December 23, 1954.
You said your husband used to visit your brother, was that how you fell in love with him?
Wife: I guess so. Though we attended the same primary school, he was a teacher when I was in Standard Six but I didn’t take notice of him. I never thought I would marry him. Even when he used to visit my brother, I never spoke to him, how we got married is still a mystery to us.
Husband: Yes, our marriage is a mystery. I used to visit their house frequently but I never took notice of her. Until one day, I wrote a note and dropped it on the table for her.
What was in the note?
Husband: Her father was a tough man, no boy from that town could enter the house, but I could go in and out freely. One day, her father told her brother to link me up with his sister, which came as a shock to me.
Wife: I can’t remember that. I think he said he loves me or something. After that day, my life changed.
Your marriage turned 60 on December 23, what challenges have you faced?
Husband: For good five years, my wife couldn’t conceive, that was our most challenging period. Her father even advised me to marry someone else, I wept. I never wanted to marry two wives, even though the period was tough, I remained close to my wife. After waiting for five years, we had our first daughter in 1959. We then waited for another five years before having our second child.
Wife: That was a tough period when I was always alone at home. My husband was living somewhere close to his school. So he could only come home once a month. There were days I would cry myself to sleep. I didn’t have friends; I’m not someone that keeps friends, so I didn’t have anyone to talk to.
How many children do you have?
Wife: We have seven children; they are based in Lagos and Abuja.
Husband: I am happy that all my children are, through the grace of God, university and polytechnic graduates.
While your husband was teaching, did you concentrate only on sewing?
Wife: No, I got a job at United African Company, in 1971 as a factory worker. We used to produce petroleum jelly, powder and other baby products. I spent 21 years in the company. I retired in 1992 at age 60. I wasn’t promoted; I only got the Long Service Award twice. I wasn’t paid much so I had to save, I didn’t spend money on clothes. I didn’t buy aso ebi and I had no friends.
Husband: My wife committed herself to our children’s education. When she got her retirement money, she invested it in their education. She didn’t spend money anyhow. She was quite conservative.
How did you build a house as a teacher?
Husband: It was through thrifts and savings I did while I was working and my wife helped out too. We were living at my elder brother’s house for 17 years before we moved into our house, in May 1978. I also wasn’t a lover of women. If I was carousing with women of easy virtue here and there, I wouldn’t have been able to build this house as I would spend money on them. No woman would come to you without taking anything from you.
Do you drink alcohol?
Husband: I used to take alcohol years back until I almost lost a child. One day, I was so drunk and totally forgot that my wife had kept our daughter on my laps. In my state, I wanted to stand up while my daughter was lying on my laps, I would have thrown her on the ground. After that day, I stopped drinking.
What do you like about yourselves?
Husband: She is very obedient and caring; that is what I love about her. Even when we offend ourselves, we are quick to apologise to each other.
Was your wife your only girlfriend?
Husband: No, I had many girlfriends, but I couldn’t marry them. I promised myself that I wouldn’t marry a woman who couldn’t read and write. One of my girlfriends came to me but I withheld myself from touching her even though she wanted me to. I had some who used to cook for me, another was a nurse but I couldn’t marry her because she was a nurse. I dislike nurses.
What was your position when you retired?
Husband: Senior Master Grade 1. I used my gratuity to buy a fridge, fan, televisions and carpet.
What is the secret of your marriage?
Husband: It is God that has kept us going and self-control. As Christians we don’t fight, she is satisfied with me and vice versa. I don’t keep women. For 60 years, I haven’t had another woman. This has contributed to my marriage, it is better for a man or woman to have self-control.
Wife: My husband and I are disciplined, we don’t go out often. I know what my husband likes and I always make sure his food is prepared on time. I don’t allow him starve. I had no house help and he is someone that likes a clean house hence, I always have to ensure the house is clean.
What can you say about the teaching profession in your time and that of today?
Husband: The difference is clear. Teachers of today are not devoted and they are all after money. In my time, we were paid nine pounds, 15 shillings and the following year we had an addition of just three pence, yet we were committed to our jobs. Teachers of today are so distracted; you see them bringing their businesses to the classrooms. We had no time for all that during our time. Teachers of today are still trying to meet up with the legacy we left behind as teachers. They have become so lazy.
Did you collect bribe or any gratification during your time?
Husband: I didn’t collect bribe, but I was given gifts by my students. Though in my time, some teachers were frivolous, they took advantage of students. Some of them used to ask students to come to their houses, but I didn’t do that.
You both look good, what are your secrets?
Wife: I mind my business and I keep myself busy. I wash my clothes and do other house chores. I also try to dress nice.
Husband: I watch what I eat; I don’t eat certain types of food such as bread and yam. Then I eat little quantities. I usually take long walks between 6 and 7 pm after I eat my supper.
What is your favourite food?
Husband: I like beans, amala, Irish potato, unripe banana, wheat bread.
Wife: Mine is rice and beans.
The rate at which candidates fail the West African Senior School Certificate Examinations yearly is alarming. Was it like that in your days?
Husband: No, it wasn’t, teachers feared WAEC and as a result they put in more effort and encouraged their students to study hard. But nowadays, teachers don’t care if their students pass or fail. Students too have become so distracted, they don’t prepare well for exams. Education of today has gone backward; those in top positions in the education sector have become so corrupt.
Where were you during the civil war and how did it affect you?
Husband: It was a trying period, we were living in fear, and there was no going out. Every time a plane was coming close to our house, we had to run outside and lie on the ground, which was what we were advised to do. It was a scary period, there was no rest of mind of us. Though I feel the Igbos suffered more. The late Ojukwu was over ambitions to become president, which was what probably triggered the war.
Copyright PUNCH.
All rights reserved. This material, and other digital content on this website, may not be reproduced, published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed in whole or in part without prior express written permission from PUNCH.
Contact: editor@punchng.com